We chose The Grosvenor Hotel for a brunch meeting due to reputation and location. As we walked in to the entrance the grand staircase had a faded unloved look that felt rather sad it its elderly decline. We walked through to the restaurant that had a golden and black hall way and far more glamorous than the entrance. However as we sighed with relief at this decor we were swiftly taken back to the same depressing feeling as we were taken into the lounge area. The dining room was closed after breakfast so this was the only option. The walls were a grey/magnolia that had large balcony windows. There was no style, love or care that had gone into this room and it was rather uncomfortable as a result.
We were seated to our table and quickly asked if we were ready to order. Considering we had no menu given to us it was hard to decide. After we were given one menu (we quickly asked for another) we waited a good 15 minutes before being asked if we would like teas or coffees. We tried to get the attention of the manager subtly while pretending to be interested in each other’s conversation and then gave up and started physically looking around showing our annoyance. After another 20mins our drinks came and then we briskly asked if we could order brunch (this was looking as if it was turning more into lunch). The foreign waitress said that she would get a paper and pen and quickly scurried off, she then returned but only to serve another two table tea and coffee and take another order. Getting rather annoyed we tried to get the managers attention again but as always he back faced the large room and he stared determinedly at a reservation book on his wooden table. We finally got a chance to order. Three of us ordered scrambled egg and salmon (one without bread, one with mushrooms and the other with bread – easy right?) and one of us ordered eggs Benedict. The waitress came back twice to triple check she had understood (she misunderstood twice so good job she did) and the first scrambled egg came out rather promptly. This looked anaemic and greyish. It was the consistency of breadcrumbs and served with smoked salmon and a beef tomato hardly charcoaled. We then waited another ten minutes for the other orders to come and although we tried we could not get hold of anyone to ask if this could possibly be speeded up or the one dish be placed back on the hot plate (or preferably made again). When we did get the other dishes the scrambled eggs all looked rather worse for wear although we have to admit the salmon was fresh and moist. The mushroom on the other hand were clearly straight from a tin (absolutely disgraceful) and the bread was the cheapest thin white pre-sliced bread and they served a platter of it for one person. As the table was so small (we think usually meant for two if eating or four is taking tea) we all had to move all our cups and saucers and down our tea to make room for the plates.
The eggs Benedict needed to be seen to be believed. The hollandaise did not just have a thick skin on it, it was literally hard. The poached egg firmly planted on the muffin was hard boiled and even those who know very little about cooking and food know that poached eggs in eggs Benedict need to be runny as the fork breaks open the white pocket.
The food was truly awful but really not as awful as the decor and certainly not as lifeless and dull as the serving staff. You would expect that being in the Grosvenor it would have at least has an air of self respect but this seemed not to be the case although the meal had a hefty price tag. The Grosvenor Hotel would not have been out of place in a Faulty Towers episode and we seriously think John Cleese could have picked up a few tips here for his series. We cannot bare to score this place and as a result it gets:
Food Atmosphere Service